“It’s not netCHAT; it’s not netSIT. It’s netWORK…”

That was my introduction to networking. A mediocre breakfast in a worse hotel, surrounded by eager beavers determined to get referrals and to drive sales, hosted by a small man with this witty call to action, supported by a well rehearsed swoosh of his hands, his fingers creating an annoying “W” at the appropriate time.

I hated it. It felt desperate. I even hated the word; “networking”. I still do.

But it’s necessary. Anyone who’s serious about their business needs to constantly develop their sphere of influence, meet new people and to build their audience. To say otherwise is to kid oneself and, love it or loathe it, the trick is to be great at it.

And that’s the challenge.

We live in a world where we meet people all the time, in person, on-line, on the phone. It’s constant. Mad even. It places tremendous pressure on us, especially on those in sales, business development and leadership positions. How do you stand out, make the difference and be the person that people remember? That people want to remember? What can we do to be THAT person?

Here are my thoughts..

Firstly, ditch the word: “networking”. It’s joyless and should be banished to a dark corner, to the “naughty step” of business speak. It’s not work, it’s what you do and it should be fun! It’s also ugly; it smacks of insincerity and its modern association with “events”, with walking around armed with pockets full of business cards hungrily looking for contacts that we’ll never call, strikes a negative chord with me.

Instead, let’s “connect”.

Always be “on”. Don’t just focus on attending events. Set time aside each day for connecting. Make calls. Chat to people. Talk. Joke. Don’t create contacts; contacts are worthless. Make friendships, meaningful relationships that you can build on. Engage your family and friends, make them central to what you do. Who can they trust to look after them more than you? Use social media properly. Again, don’t just add contacts. Write to people, ask for meetings, ask questions, interview people, find out what motivates them and what made them successful.

Be real, be yourself. Rediscover what you like doing and do it. A lot. Make life fun and concentrate on being the person you want to be rather than the person you feel you need to be. It’s attractive. It’s what people like so make the effort to be the best YOU possible.

Set your goals. What are you looking to achieve over the next 3, 5 and 10 years? What do you need to do to achieve them? Tell people about them, ask for their help and, rather than tell people what you do, tell them what you’re “doing”. You’ll be amazed at the impact this will have on your connections and how it will energise conversation. Conversely, find out their goals, lend what wisdom you have and help where you can. Talk; find out what you could achieve together.

Identify who you want to connect with and connect with them. Be fearless. Look for mentors and sponsors, people whose values you share and you’d like to emulate. Create a strategy; who could help you and how? Could they guest on your blog? How could you help them?

Be generous wherever possible: with your time, your ideas, your presence and your connections. Understand that your success isn’t just about you. Lose the agenda. Help others achieve their goals, introduce them to people they’d like and find useful. Be a “super-connector”, the hub that people rely on when something needs to be done. Make yourself valuable, be the person that others talk about.

And STAY connected. It’s amazing how many people we meet and discard. Don’t be that person. If you say you’re going to be in touch, get in touch. Write to everyone you meet, invite them to read your blog.

As for events, host your own. Make them something that people look forward to and want to be seen at. Carefully curate your guest list, do something different, make your connections want to invite their best connections. Give your events purpose, identify a cause; speak, welcome people, say goodbye, make sure they know who their host is, let them know why they’re there.

So forget “networking” and get connected. With your goals, with people, with yourself.

And if you’re going to put on a breakfast, make it a good one…

GC January 2017